The support provided by friends, family members, neighbours, and colleagues to someone who is in an abusive relationship is really valuable, and can make all the difference in terms of the person’s safety and wellbeing. It is important to be aware, however, that trying to support someone who is close to you, can sometimes be hard.
It is not easy supporting someone who is experiencing domestic abuse. We know, from speaking with friends, family members, neighbours, and colleagues of survivors, that being involved in the situation, or simply being aware of it, can affect how you feel, how you relate to other people, how safe you feel, and how you see the world.
When we’ve spoken to professionals who work with people experiencing domestic abuse, they have told us that their experiences of supporting a friend, family member, neighbour, or colleague have been very different than carrying out their job role. In particular, these professionals talked about how overwhelming it can be to support a person you really care about, and who you are invested in, because your life is connected with theirs. Concern for the safety and wellbeing of the person may be your first thought each morning, it can be hard to create and enforce boundaries with people you know, you may have to tread very carefully, and your emotions and feelings about the situation may be very intense. It can also be challenging for you, as someone providing informal support, to try to access professional support for a survivor of domestic abuse.
People can also feel very alone in these experiences, like they are the only person in the world going through this. Please know that you are not on your own, it is much more common that you think for people to be helping someone who is experiencing domestic abuse. It is one of the main reasons why we created this resource, so that people can feel less isolated and can learn from each other’s experiences.
It is also completely normal to feel a whole range of emotions about the situation, and it is important to take some time to think about how you are being impacted, and whether there are things you can do to help yourself remain OK.
Looking after yourself is as important as the rest of the information provided on this website, because trying to help in situations of domestic abuse often takes a toll on people.
If you look after yourself, you will be in a better position to help someone who is experiencing domestic abuse
